Dear Twenty-Eleven,

Holy Crap…

I have no words for you.
You were crazy yet so important.
You taught me more about myself than many previous years put together.

Where are you leaving me…
A better me with soo many amazing opportunities ahead.
Thank you.

Much Love,
Linds.

always appreciate.

Truth is, i'm failing my company….

Was I truly ready to start my company when I did? Truth is, I don’t think so.
Or maybe it’s circumstances; working a demanding full-time job, while trying to give energy to something growing is challenging. I had taken on too much.

I think it remained the full reason why my system remained so drained.
Everyone who knows me that knows I’m constantly fighting something. Even as I write this, I’m fighting a sinus infection that won’t go away.

I hate to say it but Captured Design became just like any other job.
But I was looking at it all wrong, and probably why I lost the drive to take clients.

I love photography.
I love getting that perfect shot.
I love the challenge of it.
I love making people happy with my work.

My passion and drive remain, so why I am where I am…
Things need to change.

Resolution/Goal of 2012 - MAKE PHOTOGRAPHY MY LIFE, AGAIN.

Re-launch Captured Design but specialized, something I failed to do before.
Define the time that the company needs to achieve.
Learn to balance both 'jobs' better, without killing myself.

So here is to a FRESH START…

a better me

A month ago, I stopped coffee/caffeine.
Anyone who knows me understands that is a huge deal. It was truly gross how much I was dependent on the caffeine kick. Tims/Starbucks saw me far too often, and the coffee machine at work is oh so close. I would forget how much I would be consuming in a day. Bad! For multiple reasons, it was the right choice for my body. Even when it didn’t feel like in those first few days of going cold turkey or the headaches that would follow soon after. I still miss the extra kick at times, but Im glad to say its not something I ‘NEED’ anymore. Its interesting how much my body has adjusted.

A lot of my life lately, has been about fixing bad habits.
Ive thought about what my next change would be…

Clean Up The Diet.
It’s not that I don’t eat well now.

But:
I need to start viewing food as fuel.
I need to focus on body’s NEEDS, rather than my WANTS.
I need to learn, experiment and cook more.

As they say, all we have is our health.
So I don’t assume it’s about weight, it’s about my body being as healthy as it can be.
Too much of what we eat has barely anything to give to the body.

Don’t get me wrong, put a plate of cheese and crackers in front of me and watch out.
But its time to be more conscious of choices more often.


ps. all that 'diet' food is crap for you, eat well in moderation!

growing up...

People always say that growing older is dreadful, but its what I needed.

The early 20s mode was something i needed to disconnect from..
The sad thing is, it took me a long time for me to understand my self-worth. I thought too much about how people viewed me. I didn't like attention. I picked and chose my words too carefully, out of fear of sounding stupid. I cared too much about my appearance. Most days, it was a challenge to find something I actually liked about myself. I thought I wasn't good enough.

A lot of my time was just trying to fit in. School, Work, Party and Repeat and Repeat.

I think it was photography that saved me. I fell in love completely. And it loved me back.

I started seeing the beauty of the world through my lens.
Outlook changed drastically.
My life completely flipped.

I no longer cared about the frivolous, only what made me truly happy.
And quickly learnt that you in fact control how you let things affect you.
My boss tends to ask me how Im always so upbeat, its because i choose to be.

I would have never viewed my life to have turned out how it has over these last few years...
My two crazy roommates, four years & counting at the dealership and falling in love with my best friend.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Pitfalls of chasing the dream?!

I’m very dedicated to various projects in my life.

Yes, all of this takes a lot of my time, even with all the crazy multi-tasking…
A lot of time is spent at the office, running around or at home on the laptop.
You look at what I’ve achieved and this is the exact reason why.

And I find it’s a struggle to deal with the people that don’t understand the drive and mission. Truth is, I don’t get to see people as often as they like. And it seems to upset people, more than I think it should. Finding the balance of everything seems to be the tricky thing for me. Either it’s too much or too little, and that doesn’t work.

Our priorities may be different but it doesn’t make mine wrong.
I wish some would understand that our goals in life are different, and that’s ok…

I’m not one that can just merely ‘survive’
I never want to experience the ‘chronic boredom’ that some of some my friends have found. Truth is, I don’t understand those that can do nothing and be content.
Growth and Achievement are my life.
I want to be and make a difference.

My time will always be limited.

Bucket List #1

NYC Marathon.
I will run it.

One of my favorite cities in the world...

just looking for something...

Ever have a few days where you question various factors in your life, never truly finding the answer you are looking for. Just hoping that some sort of clarity will come. This feeling is unsettling. And I can’t even put it into words to explain…

I have a beautiful home, new car, secure job, great family and some truly awesome friends.
If my life stayed the same for the future, most people would be more than happy.
But yet im left unsatisfied and in a sense, I feel slightly 'crazy' for feeling this way.

Im left wondering where to go from here…
What is the next move? How do I change my world, without changing it?

I'm stubborn, driven and passionate.
Mediocre is definitely not something I believe in.
Seems to be my greatest asset, yet a flaw that leaves me with dissatisfaction..

Where does one start this search of discovery?
They say that things only come with hard work but how do you begin when you have no idea of where to go?
Do you throw yourself at everything and hope that something comes from it?

Something needs to change, and I hate that I cant figure out what...
Actually, it frustrates the piss out of me!

darn right I will.

and have a million & one photographs...

i'm a slacker...

Im officially failing at keeping this blog up-to-date with the on-goings of my life!!!

Where are the posts about?
~ the shopping roadtrip with mom
~ the space launch with dad
~ surfing in the atlantic ocean
~ the random doings of my roommate and I… crashing the raft on the Bow…
~ the BC roadtrip with Bauer
~ the trip to Vancouver

Summer of 2011 was the best one in a long time…

Photo Blog(s) this weekend… <3

best advice.

what i believe.

only way to live...

'lazy' october sunday photo blog...

Its a rare event when Im able to play in the kitchen in my pjs for most of the day...

It may have just been Halloween prep, but it was exactly what I needed.

 

Happy Halloween, Guys!

<3

one big purchase...

dear future car payment,

despite being able to afford you, i am quite scared of you.
another payment on top of the mortgage.
eeek!

but its time for you,
i need something that will grow with me in the coming years.
i need wheels that in the dead of winter, i can feel comfortable driving across the city in.

we will have a love/hate relationship.

sincerely,
the new mazda owner.

words to business success, as well as in life....

 this man inspires me every time i hear him speak.

thank you, Simon Sinek.

be passionate.

be driven.

understand your purpose.

be what you believe. 

<3

never enough time...

Little did I know last night as i was driving home from the airport, blaring old school Michael Jackson...

Someone I knew would leave us in that moment.

A trucking accident would take him.

A father from his two young children.

A man from his wife.

And leave many in disbelief.

In a second.

It made me stop.

It made me think.

It broke my heart.

Ive been around disease.

I've seen people slowly taken... but this hit harder than most.

'What if' is not how one should live life but... sometimes they are a needed thought.

We are all guilty of needing to be in five places at once and having packed schedules/task lists...

We put things on the back burner that we shouldn't.

I'm guilty of this, just look at my chaos of a day planner...

But tell me this...

If someone important in your life was lost in this second, would they know how much you loved them?

would you have regret? over the last conversation? over the amount of time you gave to them?

I hope not.

If so, change that!

Life is a privilege, not a right... its never certain, nor predictible.

the time in the day may always seem limited but there may not be a 'next time', so take the moments.

a brief call. a handwritten letter. a surprise coffee delivery.

trust me, its the smallest things that mean the most!



thankful.

Another turkey dinner has come and gone..
Here we are, the token post about what we are grateful for...
There's no doubt about the fact that I am truly blessed. I have an amazing family, the best of friends and a beautiful life.

This time last year, mom was in chemotherapy treatment...
It was a time where the future of her health was unknown. life was from one treatment to the next. it was all about staying positive and never taking a moment for granted. It was rough and tough.

Today... she's healthy, happy and cancer-free.

Nothing will ever compare to how grateful I am that she won her battle.
Sadly, I know a few with one less member sitting around their holiday table due to this ugly disease.

I'm grateful for what the lessons of the last year taught or emphasized...

~ every moment matters and take nothing for granted
~ our health is everything
~ family, friends and hope will get you through anything

Our time here is precious.
Its fragile.

So, please make the most of it... Every Day!

take care of yourself...

darn rights.

lululemon is inspiration.

i love this company.

My winter husband(s)...

My #1 love is back full force tonight!

Let's get it done, boys <3

this is my life.

Always be INSPIRED! 

tired of the same result, change what you're doing...

Dear 5am,

I know we’ve never got along, but we will have to try...

I need more hours in the day and need to keep up my fitness regime.

Im not going to lie, its going to be hard and most mornings I may hate you.

But as they say, it will be worth it.

I’ll see you again tomorrow.

Sincerely,

The night owl.

never forget the influence you have.

every child should be told these words.

the littlest things matter.

ill be seeing you soon...

the last trip before winter hits...

off to visit the best friend in Vancouver.

pretty damn excited.

gentlemen, this never changes...

girls eventually grow into women.

this will always remain the way into our hearts.
even when we don't express wanting it.

things i shouldnt do.

i really need to stop trying to drink the boys under the table.

but last night was stellar :)

just be real.

Seriously, since when did people have the right to tell me I need to re-evaluate my relationship style?
No, people never seemed to get the dynamics of 'spoons' and i's relationship.
And yes, we did fall apart but my outlook of relationships will never change..

I would much rather support a man from a far, than tie him down out of a need for convenience for myself.
I want the man Im with to absolutely love what he does, to achieve his dreams and be truly happy in his life.
I dont believe in clipping wings, because of a relationship title or a wedding band.
How does one stay truly happy in a situation, if they dont feel truly supported?

I will never compromise my priorities, goals or my being for anyone.
So how I can justify asking someone else to...
I don't believe in settling in life. in any form.

Open, Honest and Faithful is all that is required.
Be Driven. Build an empire, travel the world or coach a kids baseball team. I have a lot of goals/dreams and I want you to have to have them to.
Be Independent.  On your free weekend, go quadding with the boys. Just call me on your way home, to ask how my day was.
Be Supportive. Hug me when I need it.

That's it.

People are odd in how they perceive. how they go about things. how they think people and relationships should be. the advice some people give. the games some people play. the insecurities people go great lengths to hide. people just need to get over the fear of failing. fear of losing. fear of letting someone in. people need to let go of control. people make it soo much harder than it has to be.

relationships dont need a mile long list of rules and expectations.
if it matters enough to both parties, it will just work.
if not, you move on.

plain and simple.

this girl doesnt settle.

 I will never settle.

I know what I want.

driven.

passionate.

self-assured.

althetic.

geeky.

honest.

loving.

supportive.

independent.

my husband will essentially be me, in boy form.

 

<3

finally learning...

 

Growing up, I hated my body.

I was awkward with no self-confidence.

i was horribly shy.

your typical teenage girl who hated how she was.

not skinny enough.

not pretty enough.

not smart enough.

not fast enough.

I have mass amounts of freckles. 

truly irish blood.

i dont tan, i stay white and freckle.

I hated them.

 I hated that they made me different from everyone else.

Its been a long journey to accept my body and what i consider its  'flaws'.

is it perfect? nope.

 but i can proudly say i can keep with the boys.

that i look good on a surfboard

and i enjoy beer, grilled cheese sandwiches and sour patch kids.

at 26, im healthy and happy.

and thats all im asking for.

<3

words to the wise.

One Year Ago...

Chengheng became my sponsor child.
A little 6 year old boy from Cambodia.

On that day, I crossed something off my bucket list.
I will probably never meet this little boy but knowing his life is a little bit easier sits warmly in my heart.

I happy danced in the kitchen when I received my first letter from him, covered in his doodles.
Translated to tell me about how much he loves school, about his sister and what they like to do.
All in all… that little bit of money I send to him every month, is the world to them.

definition of a lady.

Beauty, Poise and Grace.

These remind me of that every morning.

<3

Rainy Sunday Morning.

As much as I love the sun, there is something about waking up the sound of the rain hitting on window. The gloomy colours seem to inspire me to get work done.

Slowly working on the blog and the Visionboard...

And getting back into the game <3

grumble.

Ive completely changed my lifestyle...
Health Focused.
Gym 5x week
Clean Eating.

I feel amazing.

But when I dont order a milkshake at Peters Drive-in, please dont assume that its because Im concerned about the calorie count.

Im Lactose Intolerant!
Dairy makes me feel like complete shit, so I avoid.

Dont lecture me about how 'you dont need to lose weight, you're tiny'...
I know this.
Trust me, I do.

new favorite thing.

Essie: Merino Cool

<3

Today is definitely one of those days that remind me of how much I want to be out of the office workplace, I truly hate being confided to a desk….

Can I just wear a polka dot dress, dance barefoot in the grass and take photographs?
Office politics suck zest for life, even when you take measures to avoid it.
Un-asked for life lectures from a boss that only seems to think she knows who you are and what is best for you.
Childish antics over customer control, since sales traffic is down.
Understanding that you will get that evil eye when requesting ANY time off.

Making the leap to fully follow my dream still remains daunting…
But don’t worry it will be made….
Not immediately but soon.
Otherwise I may lose my mind.

Im not meant to work for someone else.
Im not meant to work in this environment.

Im different.
Im talented, creative and passionate.
Too much energy and spirit to sit at a desk all day long.
And well, sometimes a girl just needs to break out and dance…

<3

maybe i should just...

        Quit my day job and make brownies all day... 

                                                     

As a co-worker described, 'its like heaven in a tin'...

Another, 'best brownie ive ever had'...

Did I miss my calling??



im officially failing at blogging these days...
figured i would post a little update as i prepare for another week ahead.

january has been busy, surprising and a touch questioning...

school - completed in december. truly bittersweet.

have the best roommate - same low-key attitude and bond over making fun of the over-the-top brides of TLC, eating horrible processed foods because its easier and hoping our cars start with the -30s.

raise and promotion - the promotion i had started to think i was never going to get. so eeek. it will take a lot of work to be successful but bring on the challenge.

photos - after finishing what i have now, im taking a little break of shooting for other people. i havent shot for myself in forever and i feel it. i let it become too much of a job and my best work comes when i dont feel it is.

captured design - website launch is set for next month... other than that, slowing the push down. im headed to burn out. its a lot to work fulltime at a demanding job, then come home and build your business. i need to be a little more patient with it than i have been, for my own good.

boyfriend - schedules, winter and vehicle issues have kept us apart for far too long... i hate it...

family - great.

i hope everyone has been just as lucky as i have been this month... here is to great beginnings, dreams coming true and winter leaving soon...