a little celebration...

Despite being pulled across the city for a five minute talk, there was nothing new to report...

so thankful.

just tell me...

I don't think you ever get use to the phone call and words...

'The doctor needs to see you about test results. When can you come in?'

Three years ago, they found it...

A little lump in my left breast.

I go for follow-up testing twice a year, making sure there is no growth.

This could be just another explanation appointment and there's nothing new to report.

But it always scares me... 

Both my mom and aunt had cancer last year, and soo grateful of their successful battles.

Where does that leave me in the grande scheme of things? Where in the genetic pool am I sitting?

Am I destined to get cancer at some point in my life?

I wish they could tell you over the phone, so you didn't have the time to ponder the outcome...

Just throw it in my face and be done with it.

Wednesday cant come soon enough...

 

Every. Single. Day.

even when you're a sick little monkey.

always and forever...

Sitting on the board looking back at the beach, the current lightly rocking the every day worries away, patiently waiting for that next wave... 

nothing but time... 

i miss my favorite place in the world ♥

Bucket List #3

goodbye to another year

For awhile, it seemed that 2011 would be remembered as the year that K gave up. the boy who I wanted forever with, appropriately dubbed my 'kyponite'. Someone I had been in love with for 6 years and the reason our relationship seemed to succeed despite his oilfield job. The loss left me breathless. Despite an happy exterior, devastation was something I battled daily with. It didnt sit right. I dont give up, so why was he? I couldn't understand, nor did I want to.

But the value that came with the year...
the realization that he was never going to love me, the way I needed him to love me.
and I deserved better than settling for what he was willing to give.

the spring and summer were busy. friends, adventures and work.
getting mom drunk in the hotel bar in Montana, crashing rafts on the Bow River with the roommate and watching the last ever shuttle launch in person from a beach in Florida.

I surfed.
I explored.
I took photos.
I took courses.
I created new dreams.

It was what I had needed. I needed to know that I was going to be ok.
That as much as I was hurting, life would go on and it would inspire me.

Work, increasingly, threw more duties/responsibilities/projects at me. I learnt a lot. I gave a lot of myself to the company. And it paid off. The end result was the second employee of the year in four years and the freedom/ability to grow into direction i wanted to pursue. All the hard work of 2011 has provided a very different path for 2012, and I couldnt be happier.

Travis had always been a major part of my life. He was the one I could turn to with anything and everything. I dont think there is anyone on the planet that knows me better than him. He was the one who had told me to hold my head up high, after K had left.

I went to Vancouver in September. In that weekend, I realized something. I had always had a great guy in front of me, that understood me... And even in knowing me soo well, loved me for me. He was the guy who would send flowers when I wasnt feeling well just because he knew they would make me smile. He treated me like the rest should have.

And he wasnt even dating me... Travis did everything in his power to change that.

It was a hard year but Im grateful for 2011.
Where did it leave me...

New Career Path.
A Great Boyfriend.
A Healthy Family.
Stellar Friends.
Opportunities.

<3

geek life.

 It's all about getting you to our website...

and keep you there...

Any information source is useful, even if it's the 'Dummies' series.

Ha.

Bucket List #2

Floating Lanterns in Thailand.

Always find the photographs of these events soo beautiful and inspiring...

i heart vancouver.

Ringing in the New Year in Vancouver was the perfect way to start 2012...

and learn something new.